Baby Akatsuki
by Onyx Embers
Summary: My Onyx version of Sand's story. But with Chocolate bars! The 3-4 year old Akatsuki cause trouble for team 7. Possible Sasusaku. Definite cuteness
1. Chocolate and the traitor

Chocolate and the traitor

**Hey all!!!! This is my version of Sand's Akatsuki kids. This one has my own sense of humour rolled into it so if you don't like it...too bad. I will accept CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Oh and I do not own Naruto in any way, shape or form. I own the chocolate bars the Akatsuki ate. **Onyx

'So you understand the severity of this mission Sakura?'

'Yes Tsunade.'

'Then go.'

About 10 miles out of Suna in a cave sat the Akatsuki. Outside the cave Sakura stood in a postman uniform, her pink hair tied up and covered by a hat, wearing a black moustache and pulling a cart with 15 boxes of chocolate bars in it. Each box had a name stamped on it and Sakura was carrying a clipboard. She knocked on the stone blocking the cave. Itachi answered.

'Yes?'

'I have an order of chocolate bars for the Akatsuki. Are you the Akatsuki?'

'Yes.'

'Then sign here.'

Sakura passed the clipboard over. Itachi signed. She took the clipboard back.

'Thank you. The boxes are clearly marked with each person's name.'

Sakura passed Itachi the boxes and then left. She hid in a bush and waited. She heard 14 definite thuds.

'Wait there's 15.'

Then the last thud could be heard. Sakura grabbed the very long stick before proceeding into the Akatsuki headquarters. A few minutes later Sakura and a Sakura clone had tied all the Akatsuki to the stick (You know where it's only your wrists and feet tied) and started heading to Konoha, Kisame hitting the ground every so often.

Now all the Akatsuki except 5 Pein's were led in the Hokage's office. All were now looking about 3-4 years old. Sakura was waiting for them to wake up. Tsunade was at the hospital. Soon Sasori (who I have brought back to life for the purpose of this fic) sat bolt upright. He turned to Sakura.

'Mummy?'

Sakura looked down at Sasori.

'No I'm not your mum Sasori.'

'Who are you?'

'I'm Sakura. I'm going to be looking after you for a while.'

Sasori got up and walked to Sakura. Since she was sat on a chair he climbed up onto her lap and hugged her.

'You're pretty. I like you.'

'Thank you Sasori.'

Another one woke up. By the name of Deidara. He walked up to Sakura.

'I want my teddy, yeah.'

'I don't have your teddy Deidara.'

'But I want it, yeah.'

'Sorry Deidara. I'll send Naruto to get it yeah?'

'Yeah, yeah.'

Naruto appeared.

'Yes?'

'Go to the Akatsuki base and get Deidara's teddy.'

'Okay.'

Naruto disappeared.

'Deidara, are you wearing gloves?'

'No.'

'Right.'

Sakura pulled a pair out of her pocket.

'Put these on.'

'Why?'

'Because of the mouths on your hands.'

'Oh...okay.'

Deidara put the gloves on as Naruto appeared with his teddy, gave it to Deidara then left.

'BITEY!!!'

Deidara hugged the bear. Deidara's yelling woke up one Itachi Uchiha. Itachi got up on Sakura's lap, curled up into a ball and fell asleep again. Sakura sighed before looking at Sasori.

'Sasori why don't you go play with Deidara?'

'Okay.'

Sasori got down. Zetsu was the next to get up along with Kisame.

Zetsu walked over to Sakura and looked up at her with big eyes.

'What's your name?'

'My name is Sakura.'

'Oh. Miss Sakura...I'm hungry.'

'Can you hold on Zetsu? Until my sensei gets here?'

'No.'

'Okay what do you like?'

'Meat.'

'Any particular meat?'

'Human, beef, fish.'

Kisame whimpered.

'Fish and human is out of the question. Will you be okay with beef?'

'I don't want beef!'

'Chicken?'

'Yuck.'

'Pork.'

'Makes me get spots and have an allergical reaction.'

'Lamb.'

'Yeah.'

Naruto appeared. (It's like he's psychic or something)

'Naruto can you go get some lamb please. Is raw okay Zetsu?'

'Yes.'

'Raw lamb Naruto.'

'Kay.'

Naruto disappeared.

Tsunade walked into the room and sat at her desk.

'Sakura it's nice to know that you're bonding. You'll be caring for them until we're allowed to lock them up. Legally we're not allowed to lock up anyone under 15.'

Naruto appeared and passed Zetsu his raw lamb. He stayed. Sakura felt someone pulling on her leg. Sakura looked down to see Konan and Pein.

'Hey guys. I'm Sakura. I'll be looking after you for a while.'

Konan smiled and hugged Sakura's leg. Pein just smiled. Sakura got up.

'Okay Tsunade I'm ready to take them home. But where are the other 5 Pein's?'

'Oh I'll go get them.'

Tsunade left soon to come back with the 5 other Pein's.

'Tsunade how do I get them home?'

'With these.'

Tsunade passed over a bundle of reins. Soon all but Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu and Sasori were reined. After Sakura had reined everyone Itachi walked over, put him arms up and pouted. Sakura picked him up and Itachi clung. The doors burst open. Sasuke walked in.

'I heard Itachi was here. Where is he?'

Sakura sighed.

'Itachi is, at this point in time, 3 years old. So you can't kill him. Plus he is so cute at the moment.'

Sasuke scowled. Tsunade smiled.

'Okay Sasuke. Since you have returned-'

'But I-'

'No buts. You can't kill Itachi in this state and at least you've found him. Now as your punishment to redeem yourself, you are to help Sakura take care of baby Akatsuki.'

'What!?!!!'

'Yeah. Sakura I think you can handle two Uchiha's can't you?'

'Sure. If I can handle 6 Pein's I think I can handle 2 Uchiha's.'

'Good, now how are you getting the mob home?'

'Well...'

Sakura thought for a moment.

'Traitor gets the Pein's and Konan. Naruto can take Zetsu, Tobi, Sasori and Deidara.'

Sakura felt someone tug on her shorts. She looked down and Sasori looked up with puppy dog eyes.

'But I wanna stay with you Sakuwa.'

'Okay. Naruto gets Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi and Hidan.'

'But Zetsu tried to eat Kisame earlier.'

'Okay. Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi and Hidan are going with Naruto. Any objections?'

Deidara put his hand up.

'What Deidara?'

'What does Objection mean?'

'Don't worry Deidara.'

Sakura passed over the reined children to Sasuke and Naruto. Itachi was still clinging to her.

'Okay Sasori can you get on my shoulders?'

Sakura knelt down and Sasori got on. Sakura looked down at Kakuzu and Kisame.

'Are you 2 okay with walking?'

'Yep.'

'Yes Sakuwa.'

'Okay.'

Kisame took Sakura's spare hand. Sakura looked down at Kakuzu.

'Kakuzu can you hold Kisame's hand?'

'Why?'

'Coz I don't want to lose anyone.'

The group made their way out of the room and on their way to Sakura's house.


	2. Family Friendly

Family friendly

**Yet again I do not own Naruto. And here is where my sense of humour comes in. Sorry for anyone who reviewed or read the "second" chapter. But due to my mix up it's from Akatsuki kids not Baby Akatsuki. ****Onyx**

As they entered Sakura's home they noticed that it was quite big.

'Sakura.'

'Yes Naruto?'

'When did you buy this?'

'I didn't. Tsunade lets me use it when I have babysitting missions.'

'Oh. Can I let them off their leashes?'

'Yeah.'

Zetsu, Tobi and Hidan ran off somewhere in the house. 5 of the Pein's disappeared. Kisame found the TV remote so him and Kakuzu settled on the sofa. Naruto went to eat ramen. Sasori and Deidara were sat looking bored in front of the sofa. Itachi was still clinging to Sakura.

'Itachi can you let go please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

Before Sakura could do anything Itachi was pulled off of her by the other Uchiha.

'Itachi go play.'

Itachi looked grumpy but walked away. Sakura looked up at Sasuke.

'Thanks.'

Hidan ran into the room.

'HA ZETSU YOU CAN'T *BEEEEEEEP* GET ME!!!!!!!'

Hidan suddenly stopped in front of Sakura.

'How come I can't *BEEP* BEEP* BEEP* swear?'

Sakura didn't say anything. Hidan suddenly gasped and fell to his knees.

'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THEY'VE MADE ME FAMILY FRIENDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Hidan fell forward onto his face. Both Sakura and Sasuke winced at it. Kakuzu walked over.

'He's always over dramatic. But...if he can't swear....I get no money for my swear jar!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Kakuzu also did a face plant on the floor.

'Uh...Kakuzu...would you like some play money?'

Kakuzu looked up with tears.

'Play money?'

'Yeah. It's money only you can't spend it because no one will accept it.'

'MY FAVOURITE KIND OF MONEY!!!!!!'

Sakura came back from upstairs with a box. Kakuzu tore into the box pulling out another box. He opened that box and started to throw the toy money in the air. Tobi, Deidara and Sasori joined him. Soon they were all getting along. Sakura disappeared into the kitchen only to come out 3 seconds later.

'There's no food here. Sasuke go shopping.'

'Hn.'

Sakura handed him some money before letting him go. Sakura looked around the room. Itachi was still watching TV, Kisame and Zetsu were nowhere to be seen, Hidan was still throwing a hissy fit on the floor, Sasori was playing with a doll he had found in the box, Deidara was playing the part of the "bank person" while Kakuzu was "robbing" the "bank" of it's play money, Tobi was looking for something in the box and the 5 other Pein's were playing poker. Sakura shook her head.

'Even as 4 year olds they're weird 4 year olds.'

What was the other Pein and Konan doing? Well they were in the corner doing something you wouldn't think 4 year olds would do. In short...making out.

The doorbell rang. It was Naruto.

'Naruto what are you doing here?'

'I was wondering if you were missing a kid.'

'Kisame and Zetsu are somewhere in the house but other than that they're all here.'

'Wrong.'

Naruto held up his arm. Zetsu was biting it. Sakura grabbed Zetsu.

'Zetsu let go and I'll give you some fish when Sasuke gets back from shopping.'

'No. Me like human.'

'Let go or you're grounded.'

'No.'

'I'll dress you up as a girl.'

Zetsu let go.

'Good now go play. No eating anyone.'

Zetsu walked away.

An hour later Sasuke appeared with the shopping and Sakura started on dinner. Sasuke had the job of watching baby Akatsuki. Itachi suddenly materialized in front of Sasuke.

'Big scary guy!!!!! I'M BORED!!!!!!'

Sasuke looked down.

'My name is Sasuke. Go play with the others.'

'No.'

Sasuke kept his hands in his pockets. He suddenly felt a weight on his arm. He looked back down to see Itachi hanging off his arm.

'Play with me!!!!'

'No.'

'Pwease!!!'

'No.'

'Pwease!!!!!!'

'No.'

'PWEASE!!!!!!!!!!!'

'God. FOR FUCK SAKE I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!'

Hidan suddenly appeared on Sasuke's other arm.

'HOW COME YOU CAN *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* SWEAR!!!!!!!!!?'

Kakuzu grabbed Sasuke's leg, holding up a jar.

'YOU SWORE NOW PUT 10 YEN IN THE JAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Deidara grabbed onto the other leg. Crying.

'KISAME CALLED ME A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Another weight appeared on Sasuke's shoulders. Sasori's head appeared upside down in Sasuke's eye line.

'TOBI BROKE MY DOLL!!!!!'

Another weight by the name of Konan gave Sasuke a flying hug. She was also crying.

'PEIN BIT MY LIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT HE WOULDN'T KISS IT BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Kisame jumped on Sasuke's back.

'NARUTO OFFERED ME SUSHI AN HOUR AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Zetsu gripped around Sasuke's waist from behind.

'I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Tobi suddenly appeared in front of the bawling group.

'EVERYONE ELSE IS CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Suddenly Sasuke was tackled. He moved quickly enough that he moved Sasori, Kisame and Zetsu so they weren't squished but Sasuke hit the floor roughly. Sasuke looked up to see that all 6 Pein's had tackled him. The lead Pein looked the angriest.

'YOU HUGGED MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'


	3. At the end of the day

At the end of the day

**I do not own Naruto blah, blah, blah. Dinner time!!!!! And bedie byes!!!! Thnx for all that reviewed**_**. **_**Please review!!!!!! ****Onyx**

'DINNER'S READY!!!!!'

Sakura walked out on the scene.

'Pein, Pein, Pein, Pein, Pein and Pein stop punching Sasuke in the gut.'

All 6 Pein's got up.

'Sorry Sakuwa.'

'Okay I'm gonna have to give you guys different names.'

Sakura got out a book.

'Who is the Deva?'

The Pein that had medium length spiky hair stepped forward.

'Okay you will be Pein. Purely because Deva sounds too girly. Asura.'

The tall bald one stood next to Pein.

'You will just be called Asura. Animal.'

The one with the long ponytail looked up.

'You will be Anu. It sounds like Animal so that's the reason. Preta.'

The bulky one raised a hand.

'You're just Preta , okay?'

Preta nodded.

'Naraka.'

The tall stocky one smiled.

'You shall be Naraka because yet again it is easier than coming up with a new name. Human.'

The one with very long loose hair was last.

'You're...Jeff.'

"Jeff" looked up at her with a 'WTF' look on his face.

'I like the name. Deal with it. Now You lot go sit at the table. Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Tobi, Kisame and Zetsu go sit at the table too.'

Only Deidara and Konan remained along with Sasuke who was still getting up.

'Deidara, Konan come here.'

Sakura knelt down.

'Okay Deidara I know you're not a girl so don't let anyone else tell you otherwise okay?'

'Okay Sakuwa.'

'And I know you'll grow up to be a big strong man one day.'

'Weally?'

'Yeah.'

'Thank you Sakuwa.'

Deidara gave Sakura a hug before running into the kitchen.

'Konan come here.'

Konan walked closer.

'Never let a guy do anything to you that you don't want to do. And if Pein bits your lip but won't kiss it better, you bite his lip harder. See how he likes it.'

'Okay Sakuwa.'

Konan also gave Sakura a hug before walking into the kitchen. Sasuke got up but leant on the side. Covering his stomach. Sakura sighed.

'Let me look.'

Sasuke didn't move his arm.

'Let me look Sasuke.'

Sasuke noted the serious tone in her voice and moved his arm, revealing an already flourishing bruise. Sakura's hand glowed green as she healed it.

'No more fighting with the Pein crew. Now go in and eat your dinner Sasuke.'

Sasuke trudged into the kitchen and sat in one of the 2 empty seats. He had Deidara to his left eating his mash potato and meatballs with his hands, literally, and Kisame to his right eating with a fork but shovelling it in. Konan had 3 Pein's on either side of her, Itachi was right opposite Sasuke with Zetsu and Kakuzu to either side of him. Sat next to Zetsu was Tobi and on the other side of Kakuzu was the other spare chair. Sat on the chair after the spare chair that was now filled with Sakura was Hidan. So it goes round the table like this. Sasuke, Deidara, Anu, Preta, Pein, Konan, Naraka, Jeff, Asura, Hidan, Sakura, Kakuzu, Itachi, Zetsu, Tobi, Kisame, Sasuke.

Hidan was refusing to eat. Kakuzu was eating quietly along with the Pein's and Konan. Zetsu was tearing into his plate of raw meat. Itachi was eating but occasionally flicking mash potato at Sasuke. Tobi was eating like a good boy. Sadly good boy splattered everything on his face. Sasori was sculpting his mash potato into a doll shape.

'Come on Hidan eat.'

'No.'

Sakura picked up Hidan's fork, put some mash on it and put it up to his lips.

'Hidan, eat this and I'll teach you a word that substitutes for a swear word and won't be censored.'

Hidan opened his mouth. Sakura put the mash in and Hidan chewed.

'It's the word Kuso.'

'Are you sure I won't get censored for it?'

'Yes.'

'Kuso. YAY IT'S NOT CENSORED!!!!'

'Now finish eating.'

Hidan took his fork and shovelled his food in. Sakura started to eat hers.

'After dinner it's baths for all.'

Her words were met with a series of awws. And not the good kind.

'It's that or you get no treats.'

'Okay Sakuwa.'

'Sasori you didn't say anything.'

'I can't go in the bath.'

'Why not?'

'Coz I'm a puppet.'

'Not at the moment .'

Sasori looked down to see flesh instead of wood.

'Oh yeah. Okay Sakura.'

Sakura finished her food and put her plate in the sink. Konan was finished first.

'Okay Konan do you want to take a bath first?'

'Okay.'

Konan followed Sakura out of the room. About 10 minutes later Konan came down in a big pink t-shirt. She ran into the lounge where everyone was.

'Next! Sakuwa says it's Pein's turn!!'

Pein got up. It carried on until the last one which was Deidara. Sakura came back in with Deidara in her arms. His gloves WERE on in case you're wondering.

'Okay a little TV before bed.'

'But Sakuwa!!'

'No buts. You're only 3 or 4 years old. At half 7 it's bed time.'

'Okay Sakuwa.'

Sakura put Deidara down on the sofa. Sasuke came out of the kitchen with Itachi behind him. Itachi ran up to Sakura.

'Sakuwa!!! I just washed all the dishes for you!!!!'

'Great Itachi go watch some TV.'

Itachi ran off. Sasuke cleared his throat. Sakura turned to face him. Sasuke had soggy mash in his hair and looked like he'd been sprayed with a hose.

'Actually he put all the leftover mash on one plate, smushed it in my hair and proceeded to throw cups of soapy water at me while drying the dishes. I washed them.'

'Maybe you should go take a shower then. There should be some spare clothes in the wardrobe. We had A giant sleepover here once.'

Sakura walked into the lounge. Konan waved.

'Sakuwa me and Sasori saved you a seat!!'

Sasori stood up and waited for Sakura to sit down before climbing onto her lap. Soon baby Akatsuki fell asleep. Sasuke came back down from his shower. Sakura carefully picked up Sasori, moved Deidara who had fallen asleep on her leg and removed Itachi from hugging her other leg. She started to move away from the circle of sofa's and almost got to the stairs when she stood on one of the squeaky toys from the box. It squeaked really loudly causing the baby Akatsuki to wake. Itachi was on his feet first, grabbing Sakura's shorts and tugging on them.

'Sakuwa!!!'

'Okay Itachi I get it; you're tired. Sasuke help me get them up to the spare room.'

'All of them?'

'Yes all of them. It's a big room.'

Konan ran up to Sasuke.

'Piggy back ride!!!!'

Sasuke looked down with a raised eye brow.

'I want a piggy back ride!!!'

Sasuke sighed and crouched down so Konan could climb up. When Konan was safely on his back Sasuke stood up and started to walk in the direction of the spare room. Sakura followed with Itachi in her arms and everyone else walking behind her. Getting them to the room was no trouble. Neither was getting them all to pick a bed. It was the getting them back to sleep that was the problem.

Good boys like Tobi and Sasori went to sleep before their heads touched the pillows. Deidara went to sleep as soon as his toy bear Bitey was brought to him. Asura, Anu, Naraka, Preta and Jeff also entered La-La land without any trouble. It was the others that caused trouble.

'Come one Pein, go to sleep.'

'No. I don't want anyone bursting in and taking away MY Konan.'

'Don't worry Pein no one will do that. That's why me and Sasuke are here. To make sure none of that happens.'

'Oh. Can you read me a bed time story?'

'Okay. Once upon a time prince Pein rode across the country to beat the evil wizard...Sasuke and save his true love, Princess Konan. After a long fight he beat the evil wizard Sasuke and won the heart of princess Konan, the end.'

'I liked that story but it was a bit short.'

'Well, can you help me out by dreaming up some stuff to go in the middle then?'

'Okay. Goodnight Princess Konan.'

'Goodnight Prince Pein.'

Sakura giggled at the little girl that had replied.

'Night Pein.'

'Night Sakuwa.'

Pein led down and rolled onto his side. Sakura walked over to the door and was about to leave when...

'Sakuwa, can you read us a story?'

Sakura looked at the blond haired boy that was sat up in bed. Only Pein and Konan went to sleep. Everyone else sat up.

'Okay...about what?'

'Dragons.'

'Pirates.'

'Wizards.'

'Monsters.'

'Witches.'

'Knights.'

'Adventure!!'

'Princesses.'

'Kings and Queens.'

Sakura looked like she was about to cry as she noticed Sasuke had snuck out. She had to tell one long story.


	4. Explanation

Explanation

**I don't own Naruto. Sorry it took so long to update. GCSE's are a bitch. ONYX**

Sasuke was led out on his bed reading a magazine. What magazine you may ask? It doesn't really matter. He only looked up when the door slammed open. He raised an eyebrow at Sakura who was stood in the doorway.

'Have fun?'

'No. It took a long time for me to fit everything into one story.'

Sasuke put down his magazine and sat up.

'Sakura, what exactly happened to them?'

'Oh Tsunade sent me on a mission to give the Akatsuki chocolate.'

'And chocolate turns the Akatsuki into little kids?'

'No it's what we put in the chocolate. The little potion changed them to 3 year olds only retaining memories from before then which is why Itachi doesn't remember you. But they do remember little bits of their future. Mostly just relationship stuff and how they feel towards certain people but as you've seen with Sasori there are small memories they remember.'

'Ah.'

'But seriously your brother is just a little bit dumb.'

'Im listening.'

'I turned up to the cave with chocolate dressed as a delivery person with pink hair and a black moustache. It wasn't a very good disguise.'

'Yeah well young Itachi is getting on my last nerve.'

'I know. Just try to be nicer to them. They are only kids and remember, according to Itachi, you do not exist as his brother.'

'Oh yeah.'

'Tomorrow night you're coming up with the story.'

'Yeah, yeah. So where are you sleeping tonight. I only saw 2 bedrooms.'

'There are more but the others are being redecorated.'

'Why?'

'Kiba and Naruto-'

'Say no more.'

'So I'm staying in here with you. So budge up.'

Sasuke moved over and Sakura, who had gotten changed at some point into long pj bottoms and a strap top, slipped under the covers. Sasuke just stripped down to his boxers and slept in them.


	5. Not a chapter Your choice

Not a chapter

Okay guys this is really important. My last chapter was inspired by a review I got because I didn't quite make some stuff clear. So you get to decide.

In the next chapter should....

-The rest of team Hebi arrive and Karin gets her ass handed to her.

-A game of hide and seek with very funny consequences

-Teaching the Akatsuki how to swim

OR

-Sasuke is left in charge for the day

Just leave me a review with what you think should happen!!! (Man I sound like one of those sales people)

Onyx


	6. Voting over

VOTING OVER!!!

FIND OUT WHO WON IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF.....

bABY aKATSUKI


	7. Beat up Sasuke Day

Beat up Sasuke day

**Yes I'm back! And the winner of the voting is...well you'll figure it out in the chapter. Have fun reading! Onyx**

Sakura felt someone climb into bed with her. She opened one eye to see red hair.

'Sasori...'

'I had a bad dream. Can I stay here?'

'Okay.'

The next morning Sakura woke up to see the whole of the Akatsuki sat on her bed.

'Guys. Go back to your beds. I'll be up in a minute.'

'But there's a creepy guy looking for you!'

'Sasuke isn't that creepy.'

'No it isn't Sasuke it's another creepy guy!'

'Alright. Go back to your room. I'll go see what the creepy guy wants.'

Everyone but Sasori left. Sakura sighed and picked up Sasori before walking out of the room. Down in the lounge stood Ibiki Morino.

'Hi Ibiki, what's up?'

'A huge group of injured ninja have just come in and all medical staff are needed.'

'I'm kinda busy.'

'Tsunade sent me to get you.'

Sakura rolled her eyes.

'Okay. Just tell the guys not to die and I'll be there soon. I have to sort out something first.'

Ibiki nodded and left. Sakura walked to Sasuke room just walking in. Sasuke was sat looking through the drawers in the room.

'Sasuke.'

Sasuke shut the door pretty quick and turned to Sakura.

'Hn.'

'I need you to watch the kids. I'm needed at the hospital.'

'Fine.'

'Here's Sasori.'

Sakura passed the sleeping boy over to Sasuke.

'Later.'

With that Sakura disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sasuke looked down at Sasori who was now awake.

'Where's Sakura?'

'She had to go help at the hospital.'

'Oh. So what are we gonna do today?'

'I dunno.'

'Oh. Can you put me down.'

'Sure.'

Sasuke put Sasori on the floor before starting to head downstairs.

'I'm gonna go make breakfast. Get the others.'

Sasori went back into the room where the rest of the Akatsuki were.

'Sakura had to go to the hospital to help so Sasuke is looking after us. He's going to make breakfast.'

'But Sasuke is boring!'

'Yeah!'

'He's more boring than watching paint *BEEP* dry.'

Everyone turned to Hidan.

'I got bored of using Kuso.'

Pein climbed onto the bed so he was higher than everyone else.

'I have an idea.'

When baby Akatsuki got downstairs Sasuke had finished making cereal and had put it out on the table. They all got up onto the chairs and began eating. Except for Hidan. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

'Kid, eat your breakfast.'

'My *BEEP* name is Hidan.'

'Alright. Hidan eat your breakfast.'

'*BEEP* no.'

Sasuke sighed, got up from his seat and went over to sit in the empty chair next to Hidan. He picked up a spoonful of cereal and held it close to Hidan's mouth.

'Eat.'

'Why would I *BEEP* eat any *BEEP* cereal you *BEEP* give me? I *BEEP* don't *BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP* like you. You're a *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*type of *BEEP* person. And I hate *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP**BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* type of *BEEP* person!'

'Just eat!'

'Okay.'

Hidan took his spoon from Sasuke and began to eat his cereal. Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

'Once you've finished eating go upstairs and get changed.'

'Into what?'

'There are some clothes in the wardrobe, look through it.'

Sasuke finished his breakfast and put his bowl in the sink, beginning to wash up as each of the kids added their bowls to the pile. Once he was done Sasuke noticed the Akatsuki had run off somewhere. As he stepped out into the lounge he noticed the house was too quiet.

'Pein! Konan!'

Sasuke carefully checked each room.

'Itachi!'

'Deidara!'

'Sasori!'

'Kisame!'

'Zetsu!'

'Tobi!'

'Kakuzu!'

'HIDAN!'

'*BLEEP*!'

Sasuke paused at the door to the Akatsuki's room. He slowly opened it to see Konan and Pein sat on one of the beds with Deidara and Hidan.

'Alright, where is everyone else?'

'NOW!'

When Sasuke regained consciousness he was tied to one of the beds that the kids had stood upright. The Akatsuki were stood in front of him.

'Why did you tie me up?'

Pein grinned and stepped forward.

'We want some answers and we feel less guilty tying you up than if we tied Sakura up. We each have one question for you and we want you to answer truthfully. Me first. We have a big problem, me, Jeff, Anu, Preta, Asura and Naraka are all dead bodies controlled by one guy, if we eat anything generally it affects him so have you found him yet?'

'No.'

'My turn, yeah. Why are we in Konoha because I think I'm from Iwa?'

'Don't know.'

'You're lying, yeah.'

'I honestly don't know.'

'Alright. My question. Where is Samehada?'

'Don't know.'

'Where is my *BLEEP* scythe?'

'Don't know.'

'Why is my mask too big for my face?'

'Because you're 3.'

'Why am I not a puppet?'

'Because you haven't turned yourself into a puppet yet.'

'Why can't I eat any of these guys?'

'Because Sakura said so.'

Where is my money?'

'Don't know.'

Itachi stepped forward.

'My question. I know I'm related to you but how?'

'I'm not allowed to tell you.'

'You will or I will bug you until you do.'

Sasuke ignored Itachi and turned to Konan.

'Konan what is your question?'

'Where do babies come from?'

Sasuke paused, thinking what lie he could tell Konan while Itachi was poking him.

'Babies come from a special jutzu that a man and a woman do when they love each other.'

Itachi started poking Sasuke harder. Sasuke was slowly getting irritated as he watched Konan accept his answer. Eventually it became too much to take.

'ALRIGHT! Itachi I am your brother.'

'But I don't remember a brother.'

'Well I am. Deal with it. Now untie me.'

The Akatsuki looked at each other deliberating.

'NAH!'

Then Sasuke was left alone in the room as the Akatsuki ran rampant in the house.

14 hours later Sakura returned. Sasori met her at the door.

'Sakuwa, Sasuke didn't feed us. We're all weally hungry.'

'Uh huh. Where is Sasuke?'

'Tied up in our room.'

'Right. Stay here. But you tell the others tonight you are having dinner and then going straight to bed. No TV. For 3 days.'

'Alright. Who have you got there?'

Sasori pointed to the baby in Sakura's arms.

'This is Nagato. He's 4 months old. Now go tell the others and then I want all of you sat at the table.'

Sakura headed to the Akatsuki bedroom. When she got there she almost laughed.

'Well, having fun Sasuke?'

'Not particularly. They had questions and got answers. Apparently they felt less guilty knocking me out and tying me up than if they'd have knocked you out and tied you up.'

'So what did they want to know?'

'Trivial things. Itachi knows I'm his brother.'

'You told him you're a his younger brother?'

'No. Just brother. Can you untie me?'

'Fine. Just so you know we will have Nagato here joining us in the bedroom.'

'Let me guess, the guy behind the Pein.'

'Yeah. Having all those chocolates transferred to him made him 4 months old.'

Sakura took a kunai and cut the ropes off Sasuke.

'There. Can you go make dinner? I've got my hands full.'

'Hn.'

**Yay! Nagato is in the story and hopefully this is good enough so I don't get lynched for taking so long.**


	8. Splash

Splash

**My writers block has ended! Though I've never had it happen half way through a chapter. But anyway, even though I got you to vote, all those options are going to be chapters. Here's the next one. Onyx**

Sakura put the last bowl of cereal in front of Kisame before turning to feed Nagato.

'Okay, today we're going to be doing something fun.'

'But I thought we were still in trouble for tying up Sasuke.'

'You are. But I said your punishment was no TV. You're going to learn how to swim.'

'But I don't want to go swimming!'

'Too bad Deidara. In this bag is your swimming stuff. Boys in the shorts, Konan in the swimsuit please.'

An hour later everyone was ready to go. It took them another 15 minutes to get to the booked out pool. Sakura got in first with Nagato in a baby swim seat. Said leader of the Akatsuki looked very content. Sasuke just finished putting the last armband on Konan when Sakura started coaxing the Akatsuki in. Kisame immediately ran in, without armbands because he didn't need them, and began swimming round. Itachi, strangely, clung to Sasuke, refusing to go into the pool while Deidara was also a bit apprehensive due to his many mouths until Sakura said as long as they stayed shut he'd be fine. All the Pein's got in soon followed by Konan, Tobi, Kakuzu, Hidan and Sasori. Zetsu was worried that he might grow more. Sasuke sighed before picking Itachi up so he was on one hip and grabbing Zetsu so he was carrying him under his arm. Itachi clambered onto Sasuke's shoulders and then head in order to get away from the water. As soon as Zetsu hit the water Sakura noticed he began aging.

'Naruto!'

Naruto appeared.

'Yeah?'

'I need you to get the ANBU for me with the special serum.'

'Okay.'

Naruto left. Sakura looked back over at the kids.

'Let's start this lesson shall we? Itachi stop clinging to Sasuke you're not going to drown.'

'But water is scary!'

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pulled Itachi off his head, fully aware Itachi had just pulled out big clumps of his hair in the process, and dumped him into the pool. Itachi began screaming until he noticed he was floating. He let go of the hair in his hands before looking up at Sasuke.

'Sorry Brother.'

'No problem.'

Sasuke watched as Sakura taught the Akatsuki how to swim. About 10 minutes into their lesson the ANBU turned up and took Zetsu away after putting him to sleep with some serum. The fully grown Akatsuki member was taken away and Sakura continued to teach the group front crawl. Once they'd mastered that the armbands were off and Itachi was clinging to Sasuke again.

'Sasuke can you just teach Itachi not to be afraid of the water?'

Sasuke nodded, taking Itachi a bit away and out of Itachi's depth.

'Okay Itachi the water won't hurt you.'

'But-'

'No buts. I'll show you. Take a deep breath and hold it.'

Itachi did so as Sasuke sat down in the water, taking them both under. Itachi struggled for a second before he looked at Sasuke who still had hold of him and was just watching Itachi, his hair floating in the water. Itachi noticed his hair doing the same thing and calmly just looked around, Kisame passing his line of sight about 3 times before he noticed he was running out of air. Sasuke too noticed and stood back up. As soon as Itachi got his breath back he grinned.

'That was fun! Do it again!'

Sasuke smirked but did it again.

After another 2 hours Sakura started getting the Akatsuki out of the pool.

'Sasuke, we're getting out now!'

Sasuke looked over just as Sakura got out of the pool, her red bikini slick against her skin as she carried Kisame out under her arm. Itachi noticed Sasuke's look.

'You like her. Brother's got a crush!'

'No I don't Itachi.'

'Yes you do. You think Sakura is pretty!'

'Yes she's pretty but doesn't mean I have a crush. Let's go.'

Sasuke carried Itachi out.

'So how was your first swimming lesson?'

'It was so fun Sakura. Can we do it again tomorrow?'

'Unfortunately no. But we'll do something else, after your punishment is over.'

'Aww!'

Luckily all the swimming had really tired out the kids and so, after dinner, they went straight to bed. Sakura walked into hers and Sasuke's room after getting Nagato to sleep to find said avenger led on the bed with a far off look on his face.

'Penny for your thoughts?'

'Huh?'

'You looked like you were thinking.'

'Yeah. Just something Itachi told me today.'

'You two really bonded today. I think he's warming up to you.'

Sakura walked into the bathroom to get changed. When she came back out Sasuke was asleep. Sakura smiled before getting in next to him. The smile stayed before she realised something.

'Tomorrow is going to be a nightmare without a TV.'

**Done! Sorry for the wait but here it is. Hope you like it. I know it's a bit short. Onyx**


	9. Unwanted

Unwanted

**I'm back! Again! I've just finished my first year of uni and have a lot of time on my hands so hopefully this should get updated quicker. ONYX**

It had been a week since the swimming lesson. After the TV ban had been lifted the Akatsuki had been much more settled. The group was slowly shrinking as the effects of the chocolates wore off. Now all but the Deva path Pein and Jeff were left from the Pein's, Deidara, Sasori and Itachi remained as did Hidan, Konan, Nagato and Kisame. Tobi, Kakuzu, Naraka, Asura, Anu and Preta along with Zetsu were now in jail cells being periodically injected with sleep serum.

Currently they were all sat out in the garden. Well, Sakura was sat feeding Nagato a bottle while Sasuke ran about keeping the kids entertained. All in all it was a normal day until the sound of someone storming through the house alerted Sakura to the intruder. However it didn't take long to identify said intruder.

'SASUKE-KUN!'

Sasuke just managed to get out of the way of his red-haired slutty dressed Hebi teammate while carrying Deidara. Sasuke looked over to Sakura, well specifically behind her, to where Suigetsu and Jugo were stood.

'How did you find me?'

'Karin tracked you.'

Sasuke frowned and put Deidara down on the ground. Sakura placed a now sleeping Nagato in the pram she had before looking to the other kids.

'Kids go inside.'

'But we don't *BLEEP* wanna!'

'Either you all go in now or the TV ban will be back.'

They all ran in. Sakura turned to see Sasuke holding Karin out of reach while said slut was trying to kiss him. Sakura crossed her arms over her chest.

'Oi, dumbass, Sasuke doesn't like it when people try to kiss him.'

Karin stopped and glared at Sakura.

'What would you know Pinky?'

'A great deal more than you, that's so obvious. By the way, you're trespassing.'

'Am not.'

'Are to. I did not invite you into my house or onto my property therefore you are trespassing. Duh. So leave now and I won't have you arrested.'

Karin practically had steam coming out of her ears as Sakura spoke to her like she was a child.

'Well Sasuke wants me here so that means I'm not trespassing.'

'Sasuke doesn't own the house and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like you.'

'He does so.'

'Does not and do you know how I can tell? Because I used to act exactly the same way you're acting right now. Sasuke doesn't like it, he doesn't like you and no matter how hard you try down this path he will never like you because he hates people who only "love" him for his looks and surname. And I pity you because you will never believe what I'm telling you and continue acting this way.'

'I don't need your pity and you're right, I don't believe you. Why should I believe some bitch who thinks she knows me.'

'I don't know you Karin, I know myself. I know how I used to act just led to Sasuke hating me more and continuously distancing himself from me while lowering my self-esteem even more than it already was. I don't need to know you.'

'Yeah well Sasuke has changed so-'

'Not that much. I can still read him like a book so he can't have changed that much. Also I don't think someone who hates his fan girls could ever just change his mind. Sasuke may just show indifference towards them now since they're a normal part of his life now. Deal with it Karin. I know Sasuke well enough to know that you will never have a chance with him as long as you continue to act like this.'

SLAP!

Sakura did nothing to protect herself as Karin slapped her round the face. She knew it was coming and things could only end badly for Karin if she did.

'ATTACK!'

Karin soon found herself being attacked by the Akatsuki.

Deidara had taken his gloves off and started biting her while Kisame hit her continuously with a big stick.

Konan, Pein and Jeff were hitting the backs of her legs with wooden spoons from their arts and craft box.

Sasori was yanking her hair out and jumping on her head while Hidan was holding Karin's hands at her lower back so she couldn't fight back.

Itachi broke Karin's glasses before helping Sasori yank out her hair.

'AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

It was then that Sakura stepped in and pulled the kids away.

'Back inside.'

The kids noticed that they weren't being punished and walked back in except for Sasori who waited for Karin to look up at him.

'Nobody hurts our Sakura.'

With that Sasori went back in. Sakura looked to Sasuke.

'What do you want to do with her?'

'Call the ANBU to pick her up and throw her in a cell? Your choice.'

Sakura smirked evilly before grabbing Karin's bruised ankle and began spinning to build up some power. When all the girls were was a blur Sakura let go and Karin went flying. Sasuke watched as Karin flew.

'Hmm…. New personal best?'

'I think so. If she goes further than the border then it's my new personal best.'

Sasuke nodded before turning to Suigetsu and Jugo.

'So what are you planning to do?'

'Could we stick around for a bit?'

'Sakura?'

'Sure. But you'll have to clean your own rooms.'

'Fair enough.'

Sakura led Suigetsu and Jugo to their rooms while Sasuke picked up Nagato before walking in.

**Sorry it took so long. I couldn't decide who would beat Karin up or how they would do it. But here it is! Onyx.**


End file.
